...Aaand we're back!

That's right kids, I've decided to restart my blog! Or at least write in it until I get bored with it again.

See, the purpose of this blog was to give me a place to post random funny pictures, videos, and whatnot, but that has been replaced by LOLercoaster.com, which has pairs upon pairs of readers looking at my postings. (Don't worry, it will be getting a redesign soon). But suddenly, I've wanted to start writing stuff again, and finally got around to it.

So I've graduated college, and now I'm living at home with my parents while I search for a job. Abruptly losing my semi-independence has been about as fun as a root canal, being forced to listen to hours of country music, or worse yet, a marathon of those Mr. Opportunity commercials.

I'm kind of in a weird spot right now. I'm no longer in college, yet not quite out in the real world. It's like I'm in some strange part of my life that no one ever really thinks about. Thus the blog has been retitled "Tales from a Parallel Universe." More importantly, because I think parallel universes are a really cool concept.

I guess it's not all bad. I'm not working, although I'd like to be (I may have a temp job coming up soon). I've really taken a liking to Odd Todd cartoons, as they pretty closely mirror my life (except that guy doesn't live with his parents...yet).

More importantly, I have a job interview coming up next month. Let's just say they're serious enough about hiring me that they've started talking about where I would be living should I get that job. And let's also say, that it's in a very, very interesting location. A place where they do not have Food Lions, Krispy Kremes, Apple Stores, or even Walmarts.

In fact, this place has even escaped the grasp of Starbucks!

But I'm just going to leave you in suspense on where it is. In TV, it's how we get you to come back next time.

LOLercoaster!!!!!I!!!!XI!!!!!!!

So what have I been up to lately, you may ask? The answer, of course, is running marathons, writing and directing Oscar-winning films under pen names, curing previously unstoppable diseases (such as ice cream headaches), developing telekinesis, and throwing legendary parties that featured the most powerful drink in the Universe.

And, best of all, I am now a contributor to LOLercoaster.com a job which may actually pay some day if the site ever get more than a few dozen hits a day.

Oh, and at least one of the other above things is true.

And finally, here's a special link for a Bunnday afternoon.

Super Fat Tuesday!

Well kids, as you may know I'm a Broadcast Communications major and a Poli Sci minor. Therefore I plan on spending the entire night in front of the TV watching MSNBC.

Before you ask, no, my home state of North Carolina is not voting tonight. Someone decided that our primaries should be in May. That way we'll already know who the nominees will be, and we can cooly say that we voted for the candidates who got the nominations, and that we always vote for the winner.

But Comedy Central has some great coverage on their up-to-the-half-hour blog. Which is highly useful, since you're probably reading this on Friday afternoon. They are pretty much telling me exactly what the TV is:

"Obama, Clinton, McCain, Romney and Huckabee are all winning places and losing other places.

Meanwhile, CNN is trying to find out if they can make it to 9pm by just saying the word "percent" over and over and over and over and over again."

Their description of CNN's music made me flip the channel to watch them. Someone made me watch for a while longer by saying that Huckabee "doesn't believe in evolution, gravity, or photosynthesis." But then they blew it by saying that John Kerry was the 2004 Republican nominee.



















So now I'm switching back to MSNBC, which give me really essential information, like how there are 2 hours, 28 minutes and 12 seconds until the polls close in Alaska (Not to be confused with when we will actually know who the winner is in this essential state).

You can get the only real-time results that a human brain can comprehend on this site by Google...Maps? Also useful for my sometime-next-week crowd. It includes insightful comments from people all over the world such as:

AnnieR

A Marie Ross

in Columbia, MO

Bananas have crossed to the dark side. Time for Super Tuesday Blueberry Banana Bread.

Reshit
in Mumbai, India

"WTH is Super Tuesday ?"

Sikachu (Not a Pokemon)

Prem

in Bangkok, Thailand

vote "ดอกกุหลาบสีฟ้า...มาแว้ว"
http://zickr.com/social/story-9626

knoxnews

Knoxville, TN

Carson wins re-election to school board.

(8 million comments telling you who won what state, in case you can't look at the bar to the left)

I have to say that I must have looked at those comments for a good 30 minutes, and that many more of them were just inane, as opposed to comically dumb as I had hoped. Oh, the things I'll do for my readers (A Mr. Scurra of the UK). And if you're wondering the answer is yes, I should be writing some papers right now.

I'll tell you what this blog needs...

It needs a new post, that's what it needs!

Oh, fine. How about an awesome clip of someone from my school freestyle drumming unbelievably well?



Yes, it was I who discovered and filmed him. Now all of my millions of readers (a Mr. Scurra of the U.K.) will make him into the next YouTube sensation. Come on now, he's certainly more talented than that "leave Brittany alone" kid.

Eh...what else do I have around here? How about xkcd.com's amazingly detailed map of the Web communities, which is so big that if I posted a version small enough to fit here, it would be too small to read?

There, that should be the minimum required to get by for now.

God Bless Us, Everyone!

Hey kids. It's Christmas time again. Amongst all the hustle and bustle of wrapping presents, mailing cards, baking things, and generally hating everyone in the parking lot of your local mall/Wal-Mart/corner gas station (depending on the size of the town where you live), let's not forget the most important part of the season:

The 15th anniversary of the student film debut of what would eventually become South Park!



I have to say, seeing how bad the work of the now-legendary Matt Stone and Trey Parker looked at my age makes me feel good about my own videos. It's good to know that everyone starts out looking like crap, with some halfway decent writing thrown in.

I have also heard that this time of year also something about that Jesus fellow. He must be really popular, the way that those politicians are always talking him. It's like they're trying to mooch off of his popularity or something.

Somehow, I feel I should end this post with an appropriate picture. Ah yes, here's one of a banner announcing Elon's big lighting ceremony that they put up every year:

Learnding!

Hey, kids! It's that time of year again where I learn many amazing facts, thanks to classes! That's right, it's finals time, where I screw around on the Internet instead of studying!

Thanks to my endless web browsing, in the last couple of weeks I've learned/been reminded of gems such as:

• Pac-man technically ends at level 256, due to a glitch in the game.

• Australia's Naughtiest Home Videos was actually canceled in the middle of its pilot episode when the network owner called in and told them to "get that shit off the air.
• "In most states, however, the last clip reported seen on the show before it got pulled was of a child reaching for a kangaroo's genitals."
  

• There was once a sitcom called Heil Honey I'm Home! It's exactly what you think it's about.

• From several scenes filmed entirely in Wookie-speak to segments that were just copied directly from the original movie and poorly re-dubbed, the Star Wars Holiday Special is possibly the worst moment in TV history.
• Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) was apparently so coked out during the filming of the Star Wars Holiday Special that she doesn't actually remember doing it.

• People don't really think before naming their companies.

• Someone, somewhere, decided that what the world really needs is a stun gun disguised as a tampon.

• The guy behind such video game legends as Donkey Kong and the entire Mario and Zelda series is so crazy that there is only one guy who can understand what he says.
  

• Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is a complete and utter asshole (Especially see paragraph 8). He is also a hypocrite.

• Fortunately, there is a way to get rid of that damned Beacon program while still being able to use Facebook.

• Steven Wright is funny as hell.
  

Argh, it seems that my endless note-taking has even seeped into my blog-writing. Back to work, I suppose.

Since we're already on that political tangent...

So apparently Hillary Clinton is trying to discredit Obama's claim that he hasn't been plotting a run for office for decades, by bringing up essays that he wrote in third grade and kindergarten. No, really (scroll down to the bottom). I guess next she plans on claiming that he once accused someone of being a "doody head" and that he "didn't always share his crayons."

Of course, all of this doesn't really matter. We all know that in the end, it only matters who Chuck Norris picks for President.

The Internet: Making political satire obsolete since 1997.

Oh, and in keeping along with the same tangent from last time...