Friday, September 28, 2007

Let's Get Limericky!

I like that headline. It sounds little dirty. No wait, it just reminds me of a lime ricky, which I assume is a drink or something.

Anyway, I have always been a fan of limericks, which are clearly the highest form of poetry. I am such a big fan that I even know all about the legendary Burma Shave signs that my parents have mentioned, despite my not being born yet when they removed them all in '63 (that would be 1763). These signs would be a limerick-advertisement for Burma Shave that was told one line at a time, with each line on a separate sign a few feet from the next. They would always end with a sign reading "Burma Shave." For example:

Dinah doesn't
Treat him right
But if he'd shave

Listen birds
These signs cost money
You can rest awhile
But don't get funny
Burma Shave

And of course, this all ties directly into my next topic, the situation in Myanmar, also known as Burma. If you were too damn lazy to click that link, Burma is currently engulfed in pro-democracy protests, which are now being violently cracked down upon by the military junta government there.

Now that I'm done explaining the joke that I'm about to tell to the point that it can't possibly be funny...

This, of course, ties directly into the next part of my post: On that site, users submit their own witty headlines for news stories. But out of the thousands that are submitted every day, only about 100 make it to the main page. A few weeks ago, when the latest demonstrations in Burma were just beginning, this little gem made it to the front page regarding Laura Bush urging the UN to help them:

Dubya's wife
to Ban Ki-moon
opens her mouth
and lowers the boom
Burma Save

This was followed up a couple of weeks later, when the government crackdown began, with:

Deadline passes
Police respond
With clubs and gasses
Burma Monks

Next came a bunch of stories with inferior headlines, starting with when Bush called for tougher sanctions on Burma. But the comments still had some limerick goodness:

More sanctions do
The Burmese fear;
Bush even made
The Democrats cheer.

We rule this land
With an iron fist.
You want to protest?
Name go on list.

And my personal favorite:

The monks are revolting
The students are, too
The government tells the troops
"You know what to do"
Burma Rave

And yesterday, I constructed my own Burma Shave verse and linked it to the story about the US freezing all of the junta's assets in the country:

US to Myanmar: "After reviewing
all the facets
we've decded
to kick your assets."
Burma caves?

And it was GREENLIT to the main page, spelling mistake and all. A few hours later, one of the site moderators fixed it to "decided." And everyone loved it. And Farkers usually hate everything.

Anyway, here's a four-page collection of the some of the original Burma-Shave limericks. And here is an awesome true story about a guy who sent in 900 empty Burma Shave jars and won a free trip to Mars (sorta).

Well, I've spent enough time blogging today. But if anyone asks, I'm going to tell them that I've been writing a high-brow entry on poetry and geopolitics.


Vicus Scurra said...

Let me be the first (and only) one to wish you a happy birthday. Facebook won't allow me to access your profile or even send you a message. If I didn't know better, I would think it was one of your teenage pranks.
Be a good boy today, no crack parties, cheap hookers, loud music or excessive masturbatory exercise.

Dave said...

Vicus told me I had to do this. Happy birthday.

Dave said...

By the way, a limerick this side of the Atlantic is a five-line poem which rhymes


not the peculiar drivel you quoted.

Vicus Scurra said...

That wasn't very nice was it?

There was an old fellow called Dave
Who did not know how to behave
He said Adam's verse
Could not be much worse
And so was not asked to the rave

Just me and you for the party then, Adam? Getting a bit late for my flight - let me know where to go.